In a strange twist of fate, the world’s worst rock magazine, Blender, has published a list of what they deem the fifty “most talentless,” and by extension, “worst,” bands and artists of the rock/rap era.
Here’s the list, and next to each entry are my thoughts…
1. Insane Clown Posse - Agreed!
2. Emerson, Lake and Palmer - Self-indulgent does not equal talentless.
3. Michael Bolton - “No talent ass-clown.”
4. Kenny G - Listening to him is like getting drill work done at the dentist. (Thanks Wayne’s World!)
5. Starship - I liked them better when they were The Jefferson Airplane.
6. Kansas - Self-indulgent.
7. Asia - Having Steve Howe couldn’t save this band from being cheesy, but he did bring loads of talent.
8. Vanilla Ice - Agreed!
9. Lee Greenwood - Agreed!
10. Air Supply - Agreed!
11. Latoya Jackson - Has Latoya Jackson even put out an album? She must have in order to be eligible for this list. Poor girl, she really did get the leftovers from that gene pool.
12. Tin Machine - I don’t remember alot about this band…
13. Mick Jagger - Excuse me, did I read this right? Mick “creator of the front man, leader of the greatest rock-n-roll band of all time” Jagger? He leaves more talent in the shower drain than all of the writers of Blender combined!
14. Yngwie Malmsteen - Another who falls in the self-indulgent category.
15. Yanni - Agreed!
16. Oingo Boingo - Agreed!
17. Benzino - Who?
18. Pat Boone - How is Pat Boone on a list of rock/rap artists?
19. Dan Fogelberg - Agreed!
20. Howard Jones - Had one or two songs that my Dad liked, and my Dad thinks Coldplay are talentless. Take from that what you will.
21. The Alan Parsons Project - Again, self-indulgence is this bands problem, not a lack of talent.
22. Primus - Three words - Les Fricken Claypool.
23. Creed - Oh yes, they’re awful. A poor man’s Pearl Jam.
24. Bad English - I don’t know, I always thought that “I’ll Stop The World” song was great.
25. Jamiroquai - Way off base here, this is great band, just ask Wooly.
26. Celine Dion - Agreed!
27. Colour Me Bad - Agreed!
28. Crash Test Dummies - Not enough source material upon which to base an asessment.
29. Skinny Puppy - Who?
30. Richard Marx - Agreed!
31. Arrested Development - I saw these guys in concert, and thoroughly enjoyed them Anyone who knows my feelings on rap will know that’s saying something.
32. The Hooters - Living near Philly for so long has destroyed any chance I’d have to say anything bad about this band.
33. Japan - Who?
34. Live - I know lots of folks who really like this band, but I just don’t get it.
35. Paul Oakenfold - I consider him more of a producer than an artist.
36. 98 Degrees - Agreed!
37. The Doors - Actually, I agree. The Doors really weren’t that great a band, they just had a few good moments.
38. Nelson - Awful, awful, awful.
39. Bob Geldof - ‘Tell me why I don’t like Bob Gedolf.’
40. Blind Melon - See the Crash Test Dummies.
41. Whitesnake - A poor man’s Led Zeppelin, but David Coverdale could sing.
42. Rick Wakeman - Like ELP, self-indulgent, yes, talentless, far from it.
43. Mike and the Mechanics - Never liked them much, but had some good, talented players in the band.
44. Manowar - I know nothing about this band.
45. Gipsy Kings - ???? Another one I don’t get. These guys are great.
46. The Spin Doctors - I actually liked this band for a while, until they sold out to MTV. Too bad, as they were pretty good live.
47. Goo Goo Dolls - Has anything worthwhile (besides hot wings) ever come from Buffalo?
48. Master P - Rickie Williams learned far too late what all of us already knew.
49. Toad the Wet Sprocket- I have no opinion of this band, one way or the other.
50. Iron Butterfly - Can “one-hit wonders” really be overrated? In the case of Iron Butterfly, yes they sure can.
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