Unfrozen Caveman Outfielder Joins Yanks

Oh, wait, that’s Johnny Damon. Take a good look, because that’s the last you’ll see of the long hair and beard. According to reports coming out of New York last night, Johnny Damon has agreed to leave the Red Sox and move south to the Bronx to play centerfield for the Yankees.

As everyone knows, King George doesn’t allow players to have long hair and facial hair, so I’d imagine Johnny will come to the press conference looking more like, “Wilmington Blue Rock Damon”, and not “American Idiot Damon”.

The deal is apparently for 4 years at $52 million, which is somewhat surprising, as all of the talk prior to the signing was that Damon was looking for something closer to 6 or 7 years.

Damon will leadoff what looks on paper to be a quite formidable lineup, however no one would be surprised to see the Yanks make a few more moves before April.